All other meetings

This is the last update about the Christmas Roma girls initiative. I have visited all other families and my overall experience is very positive. However, let's start chronologically.

At the beginning, we used the name list we got from the school to proceed according to their addresses, so not to waste time.

The first family we visited had twin daughters. What I found interesting during the whole conversation, was that the daughters, mother and grandmother were there, listening and talking to us, whereas the father was lying on the sofa, watching TV without paying any attention to what was going on 3m away from him. Additionally, in contrast to the previous families, this mothers was not optimistic about education. She said, “whatever education you have, without contacts you do not get a job in present-day Romania. Not even Romanians with university degrees have jobs, so what chances does a Roma girl have in Romania. Unless you go outside (abroad), you have little use for education.”

She then gave the example of her eldest son who wished to go to high school but was not possible financially. He applied for one of the Roma places in high school, but it was far away in Sibiu and the parents could not afford paying rent there. However, she said, things changed, and the local high school has recently introduced special Roma places, but it was too late for him. He moved away and now lives in Spain.

Going away from this family left a bitter after-taste of a mother who believes that there is little hope for their children in the country, be they educated or not.

We then tried to find the second family, went to the given address, but there was someone else at the address and no one knew the family we were looking for. So we had to move on.

One family that I was really impressed with lived in just one room with no electricity and they were heating the room with wood. Both parents are deaf-mute and we communicated by writing words on paper and they could read lips. Here I felt that the school stuff brought with us would make a huge difference for the girl and family. Being disabled AND a Roma in Romania puts you very high on the discrimination list, facing double discrimination. Still, everyone was smiling, the father was trying to say many things, out of which I could understand only a little. And I was thinking, how hard it must be for them, because besides the material and financial, only a few people treat them like an equal. And the fact that it was one of the most united and cheerful families that I have seen during my visits, only increased my respect for them.

The next family that we have visited was a little suspicious. We called at the house number that we were given, but the neighbours came and said, they are family Grigorescu and that the numbers are wrong. We went inside, they were young, having a small party with two friends, loud music, alcohol and cigarettes. The woman did not speak a word and the man did all the talking. I asked him about his daughter, he said she is away to the grandmother. He had a wicked smile and I felt really bad, just like that one time when the ticket seller tried to make us pay more money than we had to just so she makes a profit. I thought the whole time, they are tricking us into it, I don't believe they are the parents. However, we left the school stuff there since there was no viable alternative, even though I had the suspicion in the back of my head. At the end, I hoped that they are tricking us, because then the girl does not have to grow up with such parents. (I know it sounds mean, but I felt like it.) That was the only negative experience during the whole trip.

The very last family that we visited was an inter-ethnic one. We called at the front door and I was surprised to see a blond woman coming out of the house. After talking and telling them that the school gave us their address because they have declared themselves as Roma, the mother came with the assumption that because the father is Roma, the girl was automatically declared as Roma, even though none of the parents have declared their daughter as Roma. However, Roma or not, they lived in the same financial situation as the previous families, all living in one room. This family, similarly to the first one, had a recently bought computer with internet connection. Additionally, the grandmother was preparing to go to Germany for work the next day. Asked about languages, the father does not speak any Romani, but he can understand some. He speaks Romanian to the children. The mother, who is Hungarian, speaks Hungarian to them, thus they grow up bilingual.

All in all, these are some of my thoughts about the experiences accumulated so far. Since there is still money left for the initiative, I will think about and talk about other initiatives that can be created in the near future.

Thanks again to all those that supported the initiative and made it much easier through their support and council.

Second meeting

And now I have finished my second meeting. It was not so nice as the first... I mean, not nice, in the sense that the girl was not actually there. Only her grandmother and aunt. But I talked to them, telling the background story of why I am doing this.

The aunt, around my age, has a 3-4 year old child on her own and she currently works as a tailor, which she studied in vocational school and thus studied for the full 12 years. Her son attends kindergarten.

At this family, we talked more about declaring yourself as a Roma and well-known teachers and other people in town who refused to do so, even though everyone knows their family and background. I very much like it to just stand there and listen to what the people want to talk about, especially since I don't imagine many Romanians coming in and asking them about their opinions.

But this family recognises me after telling my name. They even know where I live, asked me if I like 'my second mother', as they call my father's partner. I underline the fact that I no longer live here, that I moved away since I left for high school. I try to avoid telling them that I study in the UK, since I see that a little bit as a way of bragging. Additionally, I would seem more of the 'foreigner interested in the Roma' than the 'local interested in the local community'. The grandmother also gave me the address of the girl, since her parents live somewhere else. They live close to the train station, at the edge of the city in the sole block of flats that is there. I avoided going there, rather leaving the items with the grandmother. Thinking on the way back as to why I did this, I realised that I, too, have certain stereotypes in my head. But besides this, there is another thing that a girl from Malta told me more about in a full hostel room in London: fear. And past experiences fuel this fear. And it is not because they are Roma (since Romanians live there too), but because of the situation they have to live in. Walking there during the night, coming back from the station, I was attacked with stones from the small 'park' in front of the block. Nothing happened back then, but I am always weary when I walk around there. It reminds me of the Lamp Community in the film The Soloist and I am ashamed of having such strong stereotypes in my head, again, generally against the poor and dispossessed. But I shall fight those stereotypes, some way or another. I have decided to go there, the next time I get an opportunity. (As cheap an excuse as 'I will stop smoking... starting from tomorrow.' :| )

Now I need to go. I will go together with my neighbour to the Roma neighbourhood just next to where my mother lives. Since many of the girls live there, I will not be able to write for each family on its own, but I will write about all at the end.

First Meeting

Note: All names have been changed, just so people stay anonymous and I confuse everyone. :)

I have just finished my meeting with the first Roma family. I felt so excited at first, I had to tell myself, it is not an interview, you are not being assessed, I should be calm and relaxed since I should see it as fun and educational.

I went to the court where they live and started calling Mrs. Hornau. Since there was no response, I just knocked on the first window I saw... and there appeared a little girl, smiling at me through two rows of windows. That instant I felt relieved, as if that smile took away all anxiety and told me, it is just chatting. The mother appears, I ask her about family Hornau and she tells me they are the neighbours. I should go inside the court and her daughter will call Mrs. Hornau.

After a brief presentation of who I am and what I want, I have been invited inside. Everyone was smoking. A few minutes later, all cigarettes were put out and everyone was listening. I told them why I came, presented them the gifts and started chatting about education. Quickly though, the conversation became less rigid, they started talking about the other daughter, which is in grade eight and currently at choir practice (not quite the stereotype of a Roma girl). The thing they wanted was information. They would like to send their older daughter to high school, but were unaware of the possibilities, as well as the places reserved for the Roma. I told them I will try and find out and let them know, the only problem being that I no longer live in Romania and thus cannot contact them often. They then pointed towards the possibility of email communication, and then to their bright new computer with a large LCD display and internet connection looming in the corner. I said great, we can keep contact over the internet and I shall inform them if I hear anything.

The parents are both unemployed and they live off child allowance, that is what I have been told.

Then I asked if it is okay to take a picture. They said yes, we all sat down on the sofa and the uncle (i guess) took it. We then concluded that I will send the pictures and my findings about Roma places in high school through email. I have been invited to come and stop by another time and I told them I will try to, at least the next time that I return to Romania in spring.

The grandmother asked me what my name was, I wrote it down, Razvan. Then she asked, what's your family name and I said 'Sandru', which she immediately wrote down in a very nice and traditional hand-writing. And I was thinking about all the statistics which tell that most elderly Roma, especially women, are illiterate. However, the grandmother proved that she is one of the great exceptions.

That was the first visit. I think it went well, even though, looking at the computer and the fact that everyone was smoking (but the children), I think they did not really need the stuff that I have brought. Anyway, I consider that the presents are both material and metaphorical, because together with the notebooks and pencils, I bring my support for them and their chances for education.

Now I am off to visit family two!

Introduction

At the beginning, there was an essay, an assignment for 'Human Rights in Global Politics' (You can find the essay at: http://www.docstoc.com/docs/22412397/Roma-and-education-in-Romania-An-analysis-of-educational--problems-and-the-actions-taken-to-overcome-them ). Since the professor is a specialist in Roma issues and I come from a country with such a large Roma community (back then I did not know that it is Europe's largest), I have decided to write my paper on the Roma and education in Romania. Researching about it, I came to several points which kept my attention: 1) my previous ignorance on the topic; 2) the social distance between ethnicities in Romania, which I have partially experienced myself, but never dealt with it academically; 3) the large gap between girls and boys when it comes to education and the fact that there is little emphasis on females in education.

Therefore, I had the idea of doing something myself. It is one thing complaining about other people NOT doing something about it (like me in the essay), and actually doing something about it. I know I have not changed the world, nor did I improve the general situation of the Roma. However, I did something, I tried to do my tiny bit to solve a problem I have encountered.

So I have decided to raise funds and buy notebooks, pencils, pens, etc. for six Roma school girls in my home town. I have used the facebook group I have previously created for similar purposes and did several activities, like selling home-made soup and chocolate to neighbours and friends. Talking to several people about it, I have been amazed by their willingness to support my activity. For me, it changed from being a personal action, to something that is supported by others, a community who wants to see improvement. Thus finally, we managed to collect around £40, extending the action to ten girls.

Arriving home for Christmas, I was again pleasantly surprised to hear that a kind person offered us a material donation of notebooks, mechanical pencils, leads, rulers, post-its, etc. thus only spending £10 of the available funds.
We have decided that it is best to visit the families personally, in order to save postage fees, to directly engage with the family, to decrease social distance by furthering communication between ethnicities, etc.

So thus I went, together with my neighbour who is Hungarian, to visit the families and bring them the presents. You can read in other posts about our experiences.
And the pictures taken have been uploaded to: http://picasaweb.google.com/rava.sd2/LastRomaGirlsEducation#